There’s a phrase I learned when working in the southern regions of our country. When you can trust a person, align with their values, and rely on them in times of need, “they good people”.
In our day-to-day, isolating all the decisions one makes into one shade, one bucket, to fit the moniker “good people” presents challenges. Assuming that a person is infallible in steering toward the just and honorable decision discounts our imperfect nature.
We make mistakes constantly. We are faced with insurmountable information, pressures, and requests. Our job is to reach the best outcome with the information we are given and pressures we are under to fulfill valid requests.
Events that endanger our constitutions include career transitions, forced isolation, global panic, and unexpected turmoil.”Good people” will consider each situation and realize 1) who is impacted 2) how can I actively lessen harm 3) what is within my capacity to support.
People who approach situations consistently across our population demonstrate an ability to deconstruct societal hierarchies.
We all want “good people” in our lives. Where do these unicorns exist? How do we find them and prove we are worthy of their company?
I suppose that’s the nit – expecting people to act altruistically without fracture. My expectations look for trends, how does this person behave across a long time frame? What do they deposit to the relationship over time and – if the withdrawals seem excessive – how does that refactor over the lifetime of that relationship?
“Good people” experience their own woes, and they may bruise you when down.
Similarly, we may provoke hurt in others.
We can continue to hunt for unicorns, but we will not find them unless we ourselves sprout the intrinsic magic we expect in others. We can evade disillusionment if we accept people for their faults.
“Good people” are horses, not unicorns.